TV makes everything better.
I don’t think anyone of us are a grinch for dreading the holidays. Especially after surviving 2020, 2021, 2022, our whole lives, etc. Complicated family relationships, stress over buying the perfect gifts, anxiety over finances and travel and the various plagues still floating around. (I’ll wear a mask in crowded places until the day I die. I refuse to get sick from a creepy stranger breathing on me in the Target dollar section.)
Leave us the fuck alone, Kris Kringle. We are not in the mood.
Holidays feel extra heavy as an adult. The expectations are too high. The jolliness is unrealistic. There is no magic. So many of us are carrying pockets full of grief that feel like rocks weighing us down.
Like, imagine having the energy for tinsel. No.
So where does that leave us? For the most part, we are all just trying our best. Do whatever you have to, in order to get through the holidays. TV is my usual choice when I need comfort and/or a distraction from whatever million feelings I’m dealing with on any given day.
I may not be a super festive person, but I am very grateful for silly holiday movies I can watch to quiet my chaotic brain for a moment.
I hope you have a cozy holiday & enjoy watching these. Send me your favorites!
1. Christmas with You (2022 movie, Netflix)
Aimee Garcia is perfect in everything she has ever been in since childhood. I was so glad her character managed to survive the series on Dexter. I just watched her in Holiday in Santa Fe with Mario Lopez and she carried the whole damn movie.
I am a sucker for a diva and normie getting together storyline. I loved the absurd premise of Marry Me BUT they chose the wrong Wilson brother. Where was Luke? I can't think of a single character/actor Owen has ever had chemistry with. Even better, they should have reshot the entire movie with Ben Affleck as a treat for all of us. Anyway, I love a superstar falling in love with a country bumpkin.
Freddie Prinze Jr. is forever a heartthrob. I would die for him. I am a world–renowned appreciator and horndog of silver foxes, but a confusing youth pastor faux hawk in the year 2022?!? Who approved this?
And yet, I still was getting boners over his little tucked in shirt teacher outfits. By law, as a woman, I am required to be attracted to any and all charming widows.
I thought they had cute chemistry and I want Freddie in new things more often.
2. Something from Tiffany's (2022, Amazon Prime)
An 88 minute pure delight. It was perfectly paced. As silly as the plot might seem before watching, the delivery of all the dialogue is so damn good.
Zoey Deutch is one of my favorite nepo babies. I love her little voice and her solid eyebrows. I really think she is a true romcom star.
Kendrick Sampson in a turtleneck doing his daughter's hair. No notes.
(See above for applicable widower law. We like them, whether we want to or not.)
The hot queer couple will always be my favorite. Jonica T. Gibbs is wonderful in everything. I love her in the show Twenties. And although she plays a perfect friend in this and the movie Fresh, I can't wait for her to get more lead roles!
Shay Mitchell has had my support since Pretty Little Liars. She is brilliant at playing not just any ordinary bitch character, but likable women that *can* be bitches when necessary. The best kind imo. We all would be, if our hair looked like that 24/7.
A wise, precocious child will always win me over. I'm obsessed with you, Leah Jeffries!
I LOVED despising Gary. GET LOST GARY. You are a disgusting human being! (I didn’t know until after watching he is played by Jack Nicholson’s son. He hasn’t won me over like his dad yet. But I do applaud him for playing such an unlikeable ass.)
They cast so well. This has been my favorite new holiday movie this season so far.
3. Last Holiday (2006 movie, Amazon Prime)
Tamara Chestna wrote the script for Something from Tiffany's and her IMDB page says she served as an assistant of some kind on Last Holiday, which is one of my all time favorite comfort movies. It moves me to tears every single time. It isn't super Christmasy but it's literally got holiday in the title and there is snow. A classic fish out of water... or is she... tale. It is peak warm and cozy content.
Yes, there is a fashion show montage.
Queen Latifah has been a constant in my life since Living Single. I recently bought seasons of her new show The Equalizer because all the streamers were getting on my nerves and I needed her, Liza Lapira and Adam Goldberg kicking bad guy ass injected into my eyeballs as fast as possible. (The show killed Chris Noth off in a plane explosion and I still think it is so fucking funny.) ALL that to say, she is a national treasure. The People's Princess, nay Queen. Drama, comedy, action - she really can do any genre and outshines everyone around her.
The movie serves as a wonderful and unsettling time capsule. Lace tank tops with velour track suits. 🥴 There is a tiny printer she uses to print photos from her digital camera that made me so nostalgic I wanted to throw up.
The core of the story is to encourage us “not today satan” risk avoiders to let loose. We are all going to die. There is no avoiding it. So, we should attempt to squeeze any amount of joy we can out of our daily lives - while we still have the opportunity.
*~ Just like the basic bitch, Mark Twain, said “Twenty years from now, you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do." ~*
So, if there is a pleated khaki wearing LL Cool J in your life, don't wait, shoot your shot. Respectfully of course!
If you want to spend the entire day/weekend/month in bed, I wish you exactly that! In a totally fun carefree holiday way and not deeply depressing way.
4. The Noel Diary (2022 movie, Netflix)
I have to warn you that I was high for half of this movie. There are a lot of odd camera choices, enough with the slow panning Shyer, and spontaneous singing and slow dancing, which I hate more than anything, BUT it is a horny movie and thus I must recommend it. Is it corny? Sure, but, I unfortunately always fall for a brooding boy and a conflicted girl.
I love that Justin Hartley is an actor that keeps getting cast to play an actor in things or in this sweet little holiday dramedy a famous "I wear glasses to look smart" author. He also has to play characters with at least one dead parent. Those are the rules Hollywood has made for him, not me!
It is all very moody. Lots of gloomy blue lighting, jazz, dark clothes, rainy windows.
Luckily for all of us, especially the melancholy panty dropper writer, Rachel Campbell, played by Barrett Doss, finally enters the picture 19 minutes into the film. She oozes charm and sincerity. You instantly like her. Eating a sad Luna bar in her car? She is us, we are her.
It is clear immediately that she is way too good for peacoat Jake. I want her to leave every man in this movie and be free to do whatever the fuck she wants. Run, Rachel, Run will be the sequel I write for her.
His dad (forever Dexter's dad to me) did not have the right demeanor or personality. His character should have been angrier and more caught off guard by the surprise guests? The father son montage around the Christmas tree made me nauseous. Like, are y'all going to kiss? I know these cabin nerds are not throwing their heads back laughing like they're in a Kay Jewelers commercial taking their sweet ass time while a beautiful woman and beautiful dog are waiting outside in THE FUCKING SNOW.
Jewelry making parents. Hilarious. Perfect. My favorite tidbit.
The freeze frame ending.
5. I Believe in Santa (2022 movie, Netflix)
I may or may not have saved the best for last. And by best, I of course mean the absolutely most unhinged. This movie is for my fellow unwell friends. There is no preparing you for it. The summary doesn’t even truly prepare you for it.
“Love is a gift. But when you find out the man you've fallen for still believes in Santa, do you accept it - or send it back?”
We are to believe a grown adult man genuinely believes Santa is real. He goes to extreme measures to publicly share his devotion with everyone in his life.
You may think “oh is he the real Santa or perhaps an elf? Maybe that is why he wants everyone to believe in Santa.” No, this man has no special powers other than somehow keeping his job, friends and girlfriend despite being truly delusional.
I can’t fathom dating a seemingly normal person and finding out they are convinced Santa breaks into homes around the world and leaves gifts for children who believe in him. This is exactly the kind of situation ghosting was created for. But instead of hiding from this deranged individual, she gets into an argument over him making Santa more of a priority than her.
I love movies that go this off the rails. They live in a completely different world and timeline than ours. A perfect escape from reality.
Even more shocking than the premise of this masterpiece is finding out the two main characters are married in real life. The whole time I was watching, I was thinking they had no chemistry. He also wrote it. Thank you for this Christmas nightmare.